“My love..”

Let me forget,

Everything about you.

I like the way it makes you feel ,when i kiss you.

I miss your touch,as it made me die inside as your hands lingered on my body aching for more.

That i can give you everything & also nothing.

You took a piece of my soul.

It must be frightened as you hold it.

How dare we fall irrevocably in love with eachother.

πŸ’ŒG.c

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Pardon me

He laughs & says ,

“Why don’t you go on and write about it in your blog”.

I said to him

“And when she commits suicide, everyone says, what happened to her “.

His joking smile turned to an awkward look.

I was not joking . It’s never ok to break someones soul,physically, mentally or emotionally.

Most people react on words and emotion, because they care &feel what others can’t.

Most of the world just want others to listen & not talk. When the tables are turned they state their opinion, when not asked.

“Pardon me but you really hurt my feelings”.

πŸ’ŒG.c
Artwork by Ajgiel

ALTER EGO

Livid about the world,

Rather live comfortably.

Living check to check,

Just to get by.

Icecream date in a parking lot.

Surrenders to his touch,

Only for a moment.

She knows she can’t stay,

As he lives a double life.

She knows he doesn’t want her.

Yet she still tells him,

“Ill miss you & see you soon”.

A disaster of emotions,

As she cries herself to bed.

Living a lie that will never come true.

Remembering that

She promised the man

Laying next to her,

“Till death due us part“.

πŸ’ŒG.c

(Painting by joni mitchell both sides now)

DAYDREAMING

I watched as the daylight set in this morning. Quiet&beautiful.

Ever daydream about those perfect life shows,alot of drama but around them is a amazing scene. Pop up coffee shops&great places to eat. Long walks to see where it takes you.

Sad part is they can’t do that in real life, its all fake.Actors running around,extras sitting there in boredem a million people behind the camera. As you nervously try to remember your lines.

Thats me,trying to remember the next scene.I see the big houses they rent just to shoot a perfect part. I always wondered, do the owners ever get to enjoy it. Or do they just work so much, its like another furniture in there empty life.

Or the love stories you read&paint a picture in your head to imagine what it would feel like. You fall in love with the book so well,you begin to understand every word..every page. Addicted to reach the ending. Dissapointed with the outcome.

The shows you wish your life was like. Borrowed designer clothes. Paid to act & live sixteen hour days on set. Pretend your not tired, make people believe your that charactor in real life. So that when your fans meet you they dont ever think your depressed sad & lonely. Stepping out of every event and having a panic attack in the car.

FANS: They believe what they watch,you pretend to have this pefect life. They want it.They love you,except thats not the real you. Your only doing your job to make a decent living in this messed up world.

I want to daydream their lives but only what’s on the script. When something goes wrong. They figure it out and its all okay,on to the next scene.pretending to drink coffee at all parts of the day. Waking up to no bills on the table,or chaos in the kitchen.sleeping at a normal time with a clock that they set up so it doesnt tell the exact time.

Freeze that scene for me!. Just for a moment. Long enough so that i can change myself back to my persona. As i sit on my couch, back to real life.

Im stuck daydreaming .

πŸ’ŒG.c

Love..

Goodmorning, SHE STARES AT HIM.

MOMENTS: That feeling you get in your body when you vividly remember a memory from your child hood.you know what it feels like from then, to this moment.Its like you remember the smells, touch,& a rough draft of what everyone said.

She thinks she knows what love is based on moments like this.The emotional attachment to make everything feel right.The feeling of being comfortably numb to everything else but him.

THEIR REALITY: When people think they know your life based on a picture. Or a random stare at a public place.An awkward look that is already labeled on your forehead

MY REALITY:I like that quote “dont judge a book by its cover.” You know why? It doesnt make any sense,everyone can read that same book & every single person will still judge it.

she knows the years are flying by and still loving him.

Even though she refuses to admit that she is broken “Ive been here before”.that aching feeling at the bottom of your stomache,when you swear its your heart breaking.”its not”.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: when something tragic happens to artist. People say “they seemed so happy &excited about life”.No people,that music shuts a switch off in their head to help them temporarily stop the voices for a few minutes as they are in a state of emotional bliss.

LIFE: “life is full of changes that you cant control, so let the good &bad things happen,move on. The world doesnt stop just for you.” Easier said than done i tell him!,but the best advice i can use at this moment.

As she writes these little notes down.it helps her conquer the state of mind she will be in,for the day..(lie).but at this time,it helps that,someone out there knows what she feels. Just like every other person in the world.but in detatiled format.

SPARK OF LOVE:what makes her happy,is depending on his love and only that.feeling secure enough that if she loses it.all else fails.Again, another lie we tell ourselves everyday.

JUST BECAUSE:we tell our selves that without love from some one.We are nothing.You know its all self taught.Love is a strong word&emotion that we let our bodies believe we need it.

COMMUNICATION: I kno what your thinking.With others right?. Nope,yourself. For once talk to yourself.Its ok to fail, its okay to not be okay.Some people dont have that choice.

LOVE: back to this word.She thinks, as she stares and whispers to him quietly.”I love you & I love myself as well”.Some people make the wrong choice,that’s all. Choosing to love only that one person & not themselves as well.

πŸ’Œ G.c

Goodmorning intro

  • A lonley writer with a mind that seems to talk, inside voices everyone! Mornings like this where the thoughts seem to have a rampage of stories going on.In reality typical person ,normal life thats not so normalπŸ˜‚ if that makes any sense.the beauty of this chaotic world that we worry about so much,when we need to worry about the wonders in our minds that keep us sain.morning person..never,day person, nope not to say the least.night people, well if only i can stay up but i cant. some people wonder. How can someone be so busy all the time &work so much. Don’t they have any time to themselves. Well if your a person like me. I portray to say that im busy like those people. In reality, i think my mind is playing tricks on me. I over think, i pour to much into doing things. And while all this is going on. I look around,i make things much harder than they need to be. To explain, have you ever listen to your playlist of your favorite music. Seems as if you got so much done right? wrong. Now turn off the phone&focus on what you really need to do. Finished in half that time. Our mind seems to trick us in thinking that just because we have our favorite song on. We get more done. Which leads me to this rampage of a long list in my head of a blog that makes no sense ,when you get to the end.So to you i say. Goodmorning everyone, don’t make life harder than what it needs to be.Take time to yourself to get it together.Our own poetic minds is what matters most.When we die we always want a quote that means something to us & the world so they can relate.So we can think they can have an ounce of what were feeling. Thier quotes don’t matter. Yours does, what’s your quote? .